Thursday, June 23, 2011

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

You've Got to be Kidding Me

I went down the the street on Saturday to help select my cat litter.  Litter is very important to cats, so it must be chosen with a great deal of thought.  Whilst I was down the street I saw one of the shops had been renovated and I couldn't believe my eyes.

Well, every one knows I've lived in America and as I experienced the delights of shopping in pet stores there with the Wallet Support Systems; sorry, I mean the people; I would think to myself - "Ahhhh only in America."  They had everything a cat could want.  Sadly they also had everything a dog could want too.  

But this time what I saw just made me say "You've got to be kidding me".  Take a look at it - The K9000 dual bay Dog Wash!  Only $10.
I mean in the USA they have everything and nothing they could do would surprise me.  Even if this happened in America, I would have been shocked.

Now granted, I live in Bulimba in Brisbane, which is not shabby.  Bulimba is where all the well off wannabes live.  You know, nice restaurants, hair dressers and designer cat litter.  But even they have stooped to new lows that have shocked me.

Yes, look at it, a coin operated dog wash.  Yep, look again, I had to.  So I am shocked.  Its enough to make you reach for the designer scratching post.  

What am I to make of this?  The only conclusion I can reach is Bulimba dogs are too lazy to wash themselves?  It just goes to show you, we cats have standards.  At least we take the time out to self groom and wash, so we're always looking our svelte best.

And if you look closely, the dog wash is even heated - and we live in the tropics.  All right then it's not tropics in winter, but dogs are known to go for 8 weeks without a wash and enjoy the experience.  And besides, that's why they have doggy breath - not too fussy about the teeth or what they eat.
So for $10 dogs get to forgo washing themselves and get to imagine themselves as a nice shiny car going through the car wash.  I'm not too happy about them getting a warm wash for only $10 but I'd gladly pay another 5 bucks to watch the machine wring them out.  

Friday, June 10, 2011

FFFFreeezing Here

Last night it was freezing here.  Brisbane was colder than Melbourne.  As I realised it was Brisbane's coldest June day since 1916, I thought to myself "What's a Cat to do?"
Then it struck me.  "The staff must have left this quilt folded on the lounge just for me to snuggle up in."  So I jumped up on the couch, stuck my paw between the folds and wriggle, wriggle, wriggle, I was in.  
Nice and warm and cosy.  You can tell the quilt was meant for me.  It highlights my chocolate spots purrrfectly.  "Never let an opportunity pass by I say."

Sunday, June 5, 2011

You Can't Get Me

Well I had to go to the Vets for another check-up.  So off we went again.  I tried to hide, I tried to resist, I tried to run.  I even tried to tell the people I was feeling fine.  But no, they wouldn't have it and I was scooped up and carted off to the Vets.

If you remember, last time I went to the Vets they tried to test my rear instead of my ear.  So this time I was ready for it.  I worked it out.  It doesn't matter what's wrong, here comes the thermometer, a universal tool that is designed to make sure you will fake looking and feeling well, even when you are not.  

My new strategy was to lull everyone into a false sense of security.  I didn't fight, I didn't struggle, I just sat still nice and sweet.

The vet was so happy with me and said "Oh look, he's getting used to coming here and trusts us. He's very calm and relaxed."  I thought "That's right buddy, I'm relaxed so you relax too."  People can be so predictable and you can suck them in so easily.  Like when you swat them once and just growl next time and you know they will jump back.

Anyway, just as I predicted, the vet relaxed, the grip loosened and he turned around.  As I predicted he was looking for his thermometer. Ha I knew it! And that was the cue I had been waiting for.  I was out of there baby - up on the window ledge like a flash.  Only 4 mm of glass between me and freedom.  Independence, I was on my way.

 Made it to the window ledge, now where is that thermometer
 A quick glance at the door as a backup option
  Just 4 mm of glass between me and freedom
 Now how does this window catch work?

Next time I'll try and get some practice in at using window winders before I make my dash.

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Flood Insurance

Hi everyone,

Thought I'd better pay attention to my blog.  Well we survived the flood, but the fight continues.  I heard my father say something about still fighting with the insurer.

From what I can see, that has caused some floods of a different kind. First of all there is the flood of tears from Mum when she saw her treadle sewing machines had a bath in sewer.  I still think it made them smell nice.

Then there is the flood of paperwork that inundates us remorselessly.  

Helping Fight the Paper War
My father said the insurers have a sense of humour.  Apparently, to insurers flood does not mean flood.  There is flood insurance for riverine flood, storm flood, tidal flood, overland flood; but the most popular flood insurance in Queensland is the you ain't getting anything from the insurers flood cover.

So in Queensland, when an insurer covers you for flood, by flood, they mean the sort of flood that could not ever possibly effect your place.  And any other flood doesn't count.

To make sure we weren't covered the insurer got the hydrologists to decide what flood it is.  They said our place was inundated by overland flood and we don't get covered.  Our neighbour was told that their overland flood insurance didn't count because they had riverine flood.   This means the insurers do high fives and tell everyone what a good job they did.  Insurers also don't let you see hydrologist reports because they only get them to tell you that you are not covered.

My dad is still arguing with them because he says it wasn't flood that flooded us. It was sewer that came up through the pipes to contaminate us.  He said the water that came up from the sewer and was full of effluent. Dad said something about helping the hydrologist into the sewer pipe if he wanted to come have a look.

I don't think the insurers understand what he wants.  We had lots of rubbish when the sewer flooded our place, so we already had enough of it.  We had so much we shared it.  Dad says the insurers letters are also full of rubbish.  Maybe they don't think we had enough of it. 

So it seems the flood continues with letters from the insurers saying why they didn't mean the flood we had when they meant flood cover, and just like the first flood it is all full of effluent.

 It is all so tiring