Thursday, June 23, 2011

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

You've Got to be Kidding Me

I went down the the street on Saturday to help select my cat litter.  Litter is very important to cats, so it must be chosen with a great deal of thought.  Whilst I was down the street I saw one of the shops had been renovated and I couldn't believe my eyes.

Well, every one knows I've lived in America and as I experienced the delights of shopping in pet stores there with the Wallet Support Systems; sorry, I mean the people; I would think to myself - "Ahhhh only in America."  They had everything a cat could want.  Sadly they also had everything a dog could want too.  

But this time what I saw just made me say "You've got to be kidding me".  Take a look at it - The K9000 dual bay Dog Wash!  Only $10.
I mean in the USA they have everything and nothing they could do would surprise me.  Even if this happened in America, I would have been shocked.

Now granted, I live in Bulimba in Brisbane, which is not shabby.  Bulimba is where all the well off wannabes live.  You know, nice restaurants, hair dressers and designer cat litter.  But even they have stooped to new lows that have shocked me.

Yes, look at it, a coin operated dog wash.  Yep, look again, I had to.  So I am shocked.  Its enough to make you reach for the designer scratching post.  

What am I to make of this?  The only conclusion I can reach is Bulimba dogs are too lazy to wash themselves?  It just goes to show you, we cats have standards.  At least we take the time out to self groom and wash, so we're always looking our svelte best.

And if you look closely, the dog wash is even heated - and we live in the tropics.  All right then it's not tropics in winter, but dogs are known to go for 8 weeks without a wash and enjoy the experience.  And besides, that's why they have doggy breath - not too fussy about the teeth or what they eat.
So for $10 dogs get to forgo washing themselves and get to imagine themselves as a nice shiny car going through the car wash.  I'm not too happy about them getting a warm wash for only $10 but I'd gladly pay another 5 bucks to watch the machine wring them out.  

Friday, June 10, 2011

FFFFreeezing Here

Last night it was freezing here.  Brisbane was colder than Melbourne.  As I realised it was Brisbane's coldest June day since 1916, I thought to myself "What's a Cat to do?"
Then it struck me.  "The staff must have left this quilt folded on the lounge just for me to snuggle up in."  So I jumped up on the couch, stuck my paw between the folds and wriggle, wriggle, wriggle, I was in.  
Nice and warm and cosy.  You can tell the quilt was meant for me.  It highlights my chocolate spots purrrfectly.  "Never let an opportunity pass by I say."

Sunday, June 5, 2011

You Can't Get Me

Well I had to go to the Vets for another check-up.  So off we went again.  I tried to hide, I tried to resist, I tried to run.  I even tried to tell the people I was feeling fine.  But no, they wouldn't have it and I was scooped up and carted off to the Vets.

If you remember, last time I went to the Vets they tried to test my rear instead of my ear.  So this time I was ready for it.  I worked it out.  It doesn't matter what's wrong, here comes the thermometer, a universal tool that is designed to make sure you will fake looking and feeling well, even when you are not.  

My new strategy was to lull everyone into a false sense of security.  I didn't fight, I didn't struggle, I just sat still nice and sweet.

The vet was so happy with me and said "Oh look, he's getting used to coming here and trusts us. He's very calm and relaxed."  I thought "That's right buddy, I'm relaxed so you relax too."  People can be so predictable and you can suck them in so easily.  Like when you swat them once and just growl next time and you know they will jump back.

Anyway, just as I predicted, the vet relaxed, the grip loosened and he turned around.  As I predicted he was looking for his thermometer. Ha I knew it! And that was the cue I had been waiting for.  I was out of there baby - up on the window ledge like a flash.  Only 4 mm of glass between me and freedom.  Independence, I was on my way.

 Made it to the window ledge, now where is that thermometer
 A quick glance at the door as a backup option
  Just 4 mm of glass between me and freedom
 Now how does this window catch work?

Next time I'll try and get some practice in at using window winders before I make my dash.

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Flood Insurance

Hi everyone,

Thought I'd better pay attention to my blog.  Well we survived the flood, but the fight continues.  I heard my father say something about still fighting with the insurer.

From what I can see, that has caused some floods of a different kind. First of all there is the flood of tears from Mum when she saw her treadle sewing machines had a bath in sewer.  I still think it made them smell nice.

Then there is the flood of paperwork that inundates us remorselessly.  

Helping Fight the Paper War
My father said the insurers have a sense of humour.  Apparently, to insurers flood does not mean flood.  There is flood insurance for riverine flood, storm flood, tidal flood, overland flood; but the most popular flood insurance in Queensland is the you ain't getting anything from the insurers flood cover.

So in Queensland, when an insurer covers you for flood, by flood, they mean the sort of flood that could not ever possibly effect your place.  And any other flood doesn't count.

To make sure we weren't covered the insurer got the hydrologists to decide what flood it is.  They said our place was inundated by overland flood and we don't get covered.  Our neighbour was told that their overland flood insurance didn't count because they had riverine flood.   This means the insurers do high fives and tell everyone what a good job they did.  Insurers also don't let you see hydrologist reports because they only get them to tell you that you are not covered.

My dad is still arguing with them because he says it wasn't flood that flooded us. It was sewer that came up through the pipes to contaminate us.  He said the water that came up from the sewer and was full of effluent. Dad said something about helping the hydrologist into the sewer pipe if he wanted to come have a look.

I don't think the insurers understand what he wants.  We had lots of rubbish when the sewer flooded our place, so we already had enough of it.  We had so much we shared it.  Dad says the insurers letters are also full of rubbish.  Maybe they don't think we had enough of it. 

So it seems the flood continues with letters from the insurers saying why they didn't mean the flood we had when they meant flood cover, and just like the first flood it is all full of effluent.

 It is all so tiring

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Brisbane Floods

Hi everyone!

I haven't been blogging much.  We've been having a flood.  A big one.

Last week we flew back to our apartment in Brisbane.  As always I flew Qantas and I was not very happy.  I heard the parents say something about free drinks, but I didn't get any.

When we got to the apartment the parents commenced bringing everything from the storage in the basement up into the apartment.  This was very interesting as there were a lot of good smells coming with them.  And there was lots of boxes to climb on and look at.
 As each hour went by there was more and more boxes and there was less and less space in the apartment.  That meant there were more places to hide from the parents.
More and more and more stuff came up to the apartment.  None of it was very good because there was nothing to eat in it.  

Finally there was so much stuff that I had to find new places to sleep.  In cupboards, on tables, where ever.  It was very tiring watching those two move stuff in and then about, then stacking it and balancing it and then knocking it over.
Then the power turned off and everything went dark and quiet.  Well it went quiet everywhere except in our apartment.  Both stupid smoke detectors started their stupid chirping because they had flat batteries.  I really hate that sound and had to hide under the bed.  My mother really hates that sound and she yells at my father.  My father must really like it because he climbed on a chair to get closer and hear it more.
The first high water flooded our street and only came up to the apartment block.  My mother and father were very happy.  Then the sewer burst down in the basement carpark.  That changed their faces.  But I got to tell you.  For a cat things started to smell nice and interesting.

The sewer kept coming up and up.  Then the second high tide came.  The water level was even higher and so was the sewer.  There was no power for the building pumps.  Finally my dad and some other men got some portable pumps and started pumping it all out in the street to show the neighbours what they had.  My father helped run the pumps for three days 24/7.  Every time he came home he smelt very interesting, unfortunately my mother would make him take his boots and clothes off before he could come inside.
We didn't have any power for nearly 4 days, so the parents had to have cold showers. Even when the power came back the hot water didn't work because it was flooded by the sewer. 

Finally all the sewer got shared with all the neighbours and then everything down in the basement car park had been removed.  A professional detox company has been pressure cleaning and disinfecting the basement for 4 days now.  

It doesn't seem to smell as interesting as before.

My family has been very lucky.  They have only suffered discomfort.  

There has been much tragedy in this, the biggest natural disaster Queensland has ever experienced. 

Queenslanders are a friendly, helpful, caring people.  Some of these wonderful people have lost their lives, some have lost their livelihoods and many more have lost everything they own.

Friday, January 7, 2011

Didn't You Hear Me?

Itchy Ear

Well here we are first week into 2011 and I can't believe it!  On Wednesday I had an itchy ear.  Actually, it was itchy on Monday and Tuesday too.  So I got whisked off to the Vets.  
Whisked is probably not accurate, because I didn't give up and just go without a fight. I mean what do you expect?  I'm a male, a guy, you just don't go to the doctors because you've got an itch right?  I mean doctors are for serious stuff, like what happens to everyone else. 

Anyway my ear was itchy.  So I'm having a good scratch, just hitting the right spot and it's starting to feel sooooo goood when out of the corner of my eye I see one of the parents come in carrying the cage.  What! Cage?! That's it I'm out of here.    
To cut a long story short, I'm sure he must have cheated to catch me 'cause we only did two laps of the dining table, three laps of the armchair in the family room, back to the dining room and once behind the blinds, but somehow he caught me and scooped me into the cage.  I must be losing my touch.

Now when you find yourself in a cage, in the car there is generally only three places to be going.  The airport, but unlikely this time as I didn't see any suitcases; the kennels; again unlikely no bags; or the vets!  That's it.  Time to yell as loud as I can.  Meowwwww.  Maybe the police will hear and think a cat is being killed in the car and intervene.  All the way to the vets I yelled, but no one came to help me.

At the Sunbury Animal Hospital my tactics are to shut up when you get there in the hope that they will either not notice me, or think I'm perfectly healthy and leave me alone or treat all those other animals that need to be there instead of me.  This tactic is yet to pay dividends.

So in we went to see Louise and this is where the visit takes a turn for the worst.  She wants to know what's wrong and the parent says he's scratching his ear.  I'm thinking so what?  The parent always scratches his ear, particularly when he's asked questions and no one cares about his ears.  While I'm thinking this and looking around I suddenly hear her say hold him still we'll check his temperature.  Whoa, I know what's coming next. What's temperature got to do with it?  I distinctly heard the parent say ear, not rear!  Suddenly it's clear to me one person needs their ears checked and it's not me!

I must admit though, deaf or not, Louise is clever.  When she takes my temperature she grabs my tail, but tells the parent to hold me still.  That leaves the parent cling to what he calls the sharp end, while I strongly consider what else is in need of a good scratching.

Finally, after what seems an eternity of me grappling with the parent she removes the thermometer and pronounces me perfect.  I could have told her that without a thermometer.  The parent relaxes and I try to get back inside my cage.  Time to go right? You heard her, I'm perfect.

But no, she's not finished with me.  She grabs a device and shoves it in my ear, at the same time telling the parent to keep hanging on to me.  That's it! I've had enough and it's time to growl.  You should have seen the parent's face.  Now he has to hang because as soon as he lets go it will be my turn to grab and hang on to him.  We'll see how he likes it.

After a good look, she says there's nothing there, but instead of letting me be, she grabs some cotton buds and stuffs in my ear.  Clearly this is an exercise in escalating my anger.

Finally they both let me be.  She disappears for some tests and the parent tries to calm me down.  Calm down?  How do you expect me to react?  You've ripped me out of my home, you've shoved things into me in several places and now you think I should be calm?  Are you deluded?  Before I do something we will both regret I storm back into my cage, turn my back on him and ignore him. 

Finally she's back and tells the parent I should have some tablets and we're free to go.  Sensational! Tablets! And yes, the parent has to try and get them into the sharp end twice a day.  Ha!